PORTLAND, Ore — Family and friends gathered Sunday afternoon to remember the lives of the two children who were swept out to sea on the Oregon Coast in January.
There is no way to be prepared for what happened that weekend to the Stiles family. Jamie, Jeremy, and their two children, 7-year-old Lola and 4-year-old William, were at the Oregon Coast with friends when tragedy struck.
“We've been to the beach hundreds of times and thought we knew everything we needed to know,” explained Jamie Stiles, the mother of the two children.
Jamie said she and her mother went shopping to get food for dinner, while Jeremy and the two kids went for a walk.
They were on an off-beach trail when a sneaker wave swept them out to sea. Jeremy survived, but the children did not.
He attended the memorial Sunday with his wife.
“He's doing better,” Jamie Stiles said. ”It was hard for him. He was there. He almost died, so it's been really tough for him. I can only imagine what the scene was like, but he was in it and he struggles with not being able to be the hero that he wanted to be in that moment for the kids.”
Their whole world was forever changed in an instant.
“You just ate breakfast with your kids and then they're gone when you come back. (It) is really tough to deal with,” Jamie Stiles said.
It still feels surreal to everyone that Lola and William are gone.
“It just feels like a battle almost every day, like I have to have a battle plan for getting through. And some days are easier than others. But it's just a club I never wanted to join,” Jamie Stiles said.
She said other mothers who have lost children have reached out to her to offer support and community. She is also in counseling and did some inpatient treatment for a while after it happened.
“It's just kind of like the ocean itself, you just have to ride the waves,” Jamie Stiles explained. “I have really, really bad days where I can't do anything and I'm a puddle on the floor, and then other days I can function.”
Many tears and stories were shared Sunday afternoon at the children's celebration of life. Finding the right words to remember them was not easy.
“I mean it’s hard to write a eulogy for two little kids that didn’t ever say, didn’t know how they want to be remembered, because they were just kids and they just lived, so it’s a lot about just living,” Jamie Stiles said.
She said the children were best friends and loved playing on the playground at Vestal Elementary where Lola went to school. William could not wait to join her there next year.
“They were just the most loving, fun, crazy-in-the-best-way children that were so kind of beyond this earth,” Jamie Stiles explained.
Jamie said the grief will always be with her, but the support they have received from everyone has been a huge help.
Strangers stop to give her hugs, she said.
Others have delivered food, donated, or sent messages of love and encouragement. There is a Gofundme campaign for the Stiles family too.
“Thank you for the support and the messages," Jamie Stiles said. "I promise I read them all, and I burn out phone batteries trying to respond to everybody on a daily basis, and I will get there.
"I really do want to say thank you for people who took time out of their day to send me something or just wish our family well, so I’ll get to you, I promise.”
Vestal Elementary School is now raising money to build an all-inclusive playground it plans to dedicate to Lola and William.