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Friends help woman with ALS create her dream garden: 'I refuse to be defined by my disease'

Kay Thomas has lived with ALS for 22 years. Her love for gardening is one of many things that keep her living for each new day.

BATTLE GROUND, Wash. — Since the beginning of time, there have always been gardens; life-giving, soothing places of beauty. In Kay Thomas' case, her garden is a symbol of the friendships she has cultivated and friends who helped her create and maintain her dream garden.

Thomas, 67, has been living with ALS for 22 years. The average life expectancy after diagnosis is two to five years. Thomas relies on a ventilator, and she can't speak on her own, but her mind is sharp. So is her vision for gardening.

"She has a design in her head, she knows what she wants," said Thomas' friend and avid gardener, Carol Atherton.

Atherton met Thomas a few years ago through Rosie Sullivan, who owns N & M Herb Nursery in Hubbard. The three women formed a friendship over their love for gardening.

"I'm a gardener, she's a gardener," Atherton said.

On shopping trips at the nursery, the three ladies spend hours moving up and down the aisles looking at flowers and shrubs. From her wheelchair, Thomas offers her approval of plants with a single chomp of her teeth. Two chomps indicate "no."

"I honestly think that her love for gardening just keeps her getting up every morning and going," Sullivan said. "She just loves it."

When the shopping is done, it's home to Battle Ground and Thomas' garden, a sprawling five-acre parcel flush with blooms and cascading foliage. There, Atherton and Sullivan have served as Thomas' hands, along with Thomas' husband, Phil.

"She can't dig with her hands, but she has completely designed and picked out the flowers, placed the flowers, so this truly is her garden," said Phil Thomas.

Phil and Kay moved to their home in 2019. At the time, their garden was just a big, empty field. Phil built a long boardwalk pathway and he's dug more than a few holes for Kay.

"She's a tough cookie!" chuckled Phil. "And she changes her mind, so you plant something and then we need to move it. I shake my head at times, but you know, she's the boss!"

Kay and Phil have been married 22 years. Both are U.S. Army veterans. Kay was diagnosed with ALS just weeks after the couple's honeymoon and Phil has never left Kay's side.

"No one can fix the situation so what do you do?" Phil said. "Do you surrender to it? Or do you choose to do the best you can given the circumstances? Kay has been a fighter all her life."

At home, Kay uses a special computer controlled by eye movement which allows her to type words and gives them a voice.

"I refuse to be defined by my disease," said Kay through her computer. "If it weren't for the many hands that make my ideas become a reality, my lovely gardens would only be a dream for me."

For Atherton, helping Kay is healing. Five years ago, she lost her husband, Jon. His love for gardening is now Atherton's, and she shares it with Kay.

"I mean what [Kay] does for me, it just brings me absolute joy," said Atherton through tears.

"She's just an extraordinary human being," added Sullivan.

Kay is grateful that she can see her gardening ideas come to fruition thanks to her husband and friends' dedication and love.

"Without those two, I would be lost and my gardens barren," said Kay through her computer. "I look out at my gardens and flowers and see beauty, personal satisfaction and accomplishment."

When Phil looks outside, he sees beauty, too.

"My wife has been good looking to me in my eyes for 22 years," he said. "So the flowers are a bonus."

This story is part of our series, Pacific Storyland. From the ordinary to the extraordinary, we'll bring you the most heartwarming and inspiring stories from where you live. Know someone you'd like to see featured? Let us know! Email us at PacificStoryland@KGW.com or text your story ideas to 503-226-5088.

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